Beauty Is In The Eyes Of Me

There are so many beauty products out there, both for men and women, that tell the consumers that wrinkles are ugly, that gray or white hair is not attractive, stretch marks make you undesirable, and so on.  But who are these people to tell me that I need to hide these changes that time has etched into my body?  Why do I have to be ashamed at the passage of time? 

While I understand wanting to keep your body looking attractive for yourself and others, but why can't the wrinkles, the gray hair, the stretch marks be beautiful too?  They tell a story about your life, how you've grown and changed.  I have started develop white hair in place of my natural dark brown locks and wrinkles have started to become more noticeable around my eyes and my forehead.  The white hair speaks of how I survived childhood (which is still a tough feat, even today).  My wrinkles speak of how often I have laughed, smiled, and cried.  Even the scars on my body tell the story of what I have survived and recovered from. 

So while those companies continue to pedal $100 face creams that say that they will get rid of all the wrinkles and give you baby smooth skin, I will continue to live life.  I will spend time with friends, eat new foods, try new things.  I will not spend money on a temporary beauty fix when I can appreciate the new beauty that I have been given and continue to create new tales to tell.

(Picture found: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/148267012704637278/)

This Is Your Life

My best friend Marie posed this question to me: What songs would be on the soundtrack to your life?  This was, and still is, a tough question.  Think about it.  The average soundtrack is about 16 songs and that is not counting the small, instrumental pieces that often push it to about 20 songs.  You have 16 songs that sum up you and the course that your life has taken.  The other thing to think about is whether or not the soundtrack selections would change based on your life.  Certainly the soundtrack that would have covered your life when you were 10 years old may not match what it would be now.  So, after thinking and thinking and thinking about this, here is my soundtrack, with the 16 songs in no particular order, for my life now.   I have also included links to each song for your listening pleasure.

"Flight of the Bumblebee" by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov
https://youtu.be/aYAJopwEYv8
This particular song seems to play in my head a lot when I am in a rush to get anything done.  It is a song that I have always liked too.

"I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden
https://youtu.be/jjnmICxvoVY
This is Lee's and my song.  We both feel that it fits us perfectly so enough said.

"Burn MF" by Five Finger Death Punch
https://youtu.be/agXG9vzDryI
I had anger issues as a kid and sometimes I still get flair ups, especially when you consider the fact that I work in retail.  There are days when I just want to tell everyone to just go to hell and this song definitely fits those moods.

"Shatter Me" by Lindsey Sterling featuring Lzzy Hale
https://youtu.be/49tpIMDy9BE
Sometimes you get stuck in a part of your life, not because you want to but because you are afraid of what the change you need to happen will do to your life.

"Bully" by Shinedown
https://youtu.be/Y7NVxAMQn_I
I am was an outcast when I was young and I am now.  It happens when you are different from those around you & no matter what you do to fit in, you will always be that square peg trying to fit into a round hole.  But one does need to remember that the bullies can be defeated.

"Leave Out All the Rest" by Linkin Park
https://youtu.be/yZIummTz9mM
You always want to be remembered by those that you leave behind, to leave some positive mark on the world.  I often hope that is what I am doing.

"Yeah" by Usher
https://youtu.be/GxBSyx85Kp8
I realize that this may not seem to fit but whenever this song came on the radio, my pals and I would dance to it.  Makes me think of more carefree times.

"California Love" by 2Pac featuring Dr. Dre
https://youtu.be/5wBTdfAkqGU
I am a Cali girl at heart and this is a song that I have always loved.  I realize that the lyrics don't fit me but the soul of the song does.

"The Rooster, The Donkey, The Dog, & The Cat" by The Poxy Boggards
https://youtu.be/tKHCpnz-0js
I got to perform with a Renn Faire group for a few years and it is always something that I look back on fondly.  The fun and the laughter is something that I try to remind myself of whenever it seems a little dark.

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
https://youtu.be/PIb6AZdTr-A
This was a song from my childhood and one that I would always dance to.  I still do to this day & I even will sign the chorus as I sing and dance to the song.

"Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley
https://youtu.be/e8jAqvmnsIk
A song about heartbreak by the King himself.  Nuff said.

"Letters From Home" by John Michael Montgomery
https://youtu.be/X75sVw0xH2c
This song always made me tear up when I heard it but when my husband was shipped to Iraq, it took on a whole new meaning for me.  Even now, it makes me think back on how I felt and how lucky I am that he came home to me.

"Let The Boy Cry" by Gala
https://youtu.be/_bxaDvSTGl0
To me, a song about being true to yourself and fighting those who want to change your uniqueness.  I come from a stubborn line of women.  Don't tell me that I can't do something because that will make me try even harder to do it.

"Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch
https://youtu.be/HCBPmxiVMKk
As a child and even as an adult, I have to hide parts of myself in order do my job.  I hide my spiritual path from many and I hide my health issues.  Many people have to do the same as I in order to survive in life.

"When They Come For Me" by Linkin Park
https://youtu.be/2cC4LQV2tf8
This song just speaks to me and gives me strength when I need it.  In the movie of my life, this would be the song that they would play during the montage of where I pull myself up and accomplish my goal.

"Boadicea" by Enya
https://youtu.be/JKQwgpaLR6o
In the midst of all the stress in life, I find it helps to calm my mind and meditate.  I have always found Enya paarticularly soothing.

Adventures in Friendship: Day 8

It has been a couple of days since Marie went back home and I got to thinking about how lucky I am to have a friend like her.  She won't like me bringing this up because she says it gives an idea to our age, but we have been best friends since we were eight years old.  We have definitely fought the odds with our friendship.  Our friendship survived the big move when Marie & her family moved to the other side of the country right before we started high school.  We wrote constantly, which still happens to this day, and we stayed in touch.  Our lives grew, we got jobs in the adult world, we got married and yet, we stayed in touch.  And it wasn't just a letter here, a phone call there.  There is a connection between the two of us that goes deeper than most.  We know each others past, both the good and the bad.  Yes, there has been times where we fought but the conversation has never stopped.  Marie gave me a picture frame that pretty much sums up our friendship:

"Hey girlfriend!  We may not see each other for ages but we never seem to miss a beat.  Our friendship is a never ending conversation."

So to you, my dearest friend, my sister from another mother, & my evil twin, thank you for being my friend for all these years.  Having you visit me this spring was fabulous.  I look forward to many more adventures and years of friendship. 

Until our next conversation, smooches!

View from one of the planes when

Marie went home

My Link Is Not Severed

Having a child is a big responsibility and it can be a very rewarding one for those you truly want to undertake the task.  Many see it as a path to immortality of a sort.  The links from the past will carry on into the future, the family line will continue, someone will care for you in your twilight years, etc.

But what about those people who can't have kids, for one reason or another, or who don't wish to have them at all.  Are they to be objects of pity or scorn by those who have them?  Will they be left forgotten in their old age, a lonely individual laying on a bed in a nursing home without a single visitor?  My answer is no to all of these.

I am, for reasons that I will not discuss here, not able to have biological children of my own, even though they are wanted.  But I do not consider my link to the future severed by any means.  My children are many, more than anyone person can birth on their own.  My children are my students, the readers that read the stories I send out into the world, the offspring of mine and my husband's siblings, and the offspring of those I consider part of my family.  Part of who I am will live on in them and those that come after them.

Yes, I will admit that I often worry about who might care for me when I'm in my twilight years but I try not to dwell on it.  What happens will happen.  Time will continue to flow forward into the cosmic expanse & nothing I do will change that.  I must trust that when my time comes to cross the veil, there will be those who love me to wish me farewell.

(Photo from: http://www.thethingswesay.com/i-like-to-think-that-the-universe-brought-us-together-for-a-reason-that-were-supposed-to-help-each-other-grow-into-the-people-we-were-always-meant-to-become/)