Adult Silliness

Many know this familar face from our childhoods.  I don't know about you, but I loved getting a Mad Lib book.  My friends and I would sit around, filling in the blanks with the naughtiest words that we could think of and then giggled like crazy, little nutjobs when we read the completed story outloud.

With many of the world's population active on Facebook, this amusing past time has taken on a new form.  I have seen a few mad lib-like challanges before in my newsfeed but none that were as detailed as the one I was tagged in a few days ago.  It's complexity and length is what intrigued me, so I decided to fill it out.  Now, unlike the paper mad libs where you inserted your own words, this one gave you a list of selections for each part.  Each section had a specific way you picked the answer for each blank section.  It took a bit of time to fill mine out but it was worth it since I was laughing by then end of it.

So, for your giggling pleasure, here is my completed mad lib:

Dear Maria,
I don't know how to tell you this, our romance is over.  I think I realized it that night you picked your nose outside your office & I saw you carve your initials in my boyfriend.  I'm sure you're shamed enough to understand that I'm allergic to your earlobes.  I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you but I'll keep your neighbor's dog as a memory.  You should also know that I will not tell the authorities I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon,

Greeting to your frog Leonard,
Danielle



*If you would like to do your own, a copy of the blank mad lib can be found below.  Feel free to share your completed one in the comments.  I'd love to read them :-)












If you're looking for some hilarious entertainment, do this adult mad lib with a friend.

Dear (person's name you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)

1. What is the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I threw up in your sock drawer

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Other- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Other -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

😎 8.) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N -Tol d in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself




(Image from https://botlist.co/system/BotList/Bot/logos/000/001/535/medium/madlibs.jpg)

A Month Wasted

Silence.

The soft click of keys tapping out answers, a mouse being clicked to go on to the next question.

The faint scratch of pencil on paper, working out a problem.

The silent & internal struggle of a difficult question crosses a young face.

Glazed eyes stare blankly at a computer screen, not understanding what they see.

Heads hung low with internal conflict, being made to feel stupid by a question they do not understand.

Sobs muffled behind closed lips so as not to disturb the testers around them.

A teacher's heartbreak as a special needs student begs for help that the teacher is prevented by test rules from giving.

Sigh of relief when answers can be submitted & the test ends.

Then the next day, it starts all over again.

Three weeks, almost a full month of learning lost & never to be regained to the monster of high stakes testing.

(Side note: Unfortunately, teacher are prevented from telling parents that they have the right to opt out of standardized testing.  Kids don't have to take these high-stakes tests.  While some tests are used to help gauge a student's academic level & see where they are struggling, high-stakes testing does not.  It also takes away learning time from the students.)

Childhood Nostalgia

I have always loved to read, even as a small child.  According to my mom, I've been reading since I was four years old.  Being a child that didn't have a lot of friends, reading became my way to learn new things, go different places, and see amazing things, all while sitting comfortably on my couch.

One of my absolutely favorite books from my childhood is Chocolate Fever.  It is about a young boy who loved chocolate so much that he ate it with everything and at every meal.  This caused him to break out into chocolate spots all over his body.  He spends the rest of book going on adventures while he tries to find a cure to his "chocolate fever".

This particular book holds up today since they really make no mention of any technology, which can make a book seem dated to kids.  They also keep it simple and really focused on the interactions between the characters.  Its message is a great one but I won't say what it is since you won't read the book if I give you the answer.

Reading is and always will be one of my favorite past times because of all the adventures that can be found between the pages of a book.

My copy actually has this cover

A Tastebud Adventure

One of the many reasons why I love my best friend Marie is that she always knows how to surprise me.  Letters, postcards, "just because" gifts, the list goes on.  She must have had fun putting together my birthday box, which arrived at my house the 2 days after my birthday.  It all came from Amazon and the variety & quirkiness made my day.  I had this image of her, sitting at her computer, giggling to herself every time she found a unique item to throw into the cart.

One of these items was a variety box of tea.  I love a nice cup of hot tea sweetened with honey (never with sugar).  Each box has 4 flavors (5 bags each).

So here is the taste review for all you tea lovers out there

Fruit Tea Selection
Apple Refresh - This one was pretty good.  It smelled like apples, but not tart like most apple flavored items.  It was like it was a combo of black tea and apple juice.

Peach & Passion Fruit - Not quite sure how I felt about this one.  It had a faint taste of peach but couldn't tell the passion fruit.  I could taste more of the fruit flavor when it got lukewarm. (Got distracted and forgot about it)

Strawberry Sensation - The tea bag smelled really good & the tea wasn't bad.  it is hard to get a good strawberry flavor in a lot of things but they did a pretty good job with this one.

Lemon & Lime Twist - This had a very refreshing taste.  I think it would be great to have on those days that you are under the weather and need a little pick me up.

Green Tea Selection
Green Tea Pure - This one was very nice.  I don't normally like straight green tea due to the after taste but this one was light and not bitter.

Lemon Vitality - This would be another good one if you were sick.  The lemon  flavor was strong enough to make you think that you had put fresh lemon into your tea.  I could tasted it over the honey I had put into it.

Jasmine Romance -I was rather looking forward to this one.  Sadly, there wasn't a lot of the taste of the flower, just a hint of the smell of jasmine.

Mint Mystique - Wow, this one smelled great as it brewed.  It was very similar to the smell of Doublemint gum.  But the funny thing was that it didn't have a really minty taste to it.  You could taste more of the green tea than the mint.

Classic Black Tea Selection
Earl Gray - This is a tea that I have always liked and this one was no exception.  The bergamont flavor wasn't super strong, which is always a plus.

English Tea No. 1 - Not sure how to feel about this one.  There really wasn't much of a flavor difference between this tea and just straight black tea.  I may have to make it again in an actual tea cup rather than in my travel mug to get a more in-depth experience.

English Breakfast - I have to say I was disappointed with this one.  I've heard that it was pretty good but after I tried it, I really don't think that it lived up to the hype.  It was rather bland.

Darjeeling Tea - Wow!  Talk about some strong black tea.  I needed a bit more honey in this one since it was so strong.  With a tea like this, I can see how people functioned before coffee became mainstream.

No You Can't Eat That Many

The Valentine's day holiday is almost upon us with all of it's chocolatey temptations.  This means that the Easter candy time is coming and in many cases, has already started to appear on store shelves.  It is during this time period that one of my biggest candy temptations appears.

This particular candy is on the small side, made of chocolate, and has a liquid center of sugar that is guaranteed to add to your waistline.  This evil temptation is know by many, disliked by some, but is a well known staple in any Easter basket.  Give up?  The candy I am referring to is the Cadbury Cream Egg.

Now I am well aware of how bad this particular treat it for me, but I just can't seem to help myself.  It is a defiant test of will power to walk by a display of these egg-shaped chocolatey delights without grabbing at least one.  Heaven forbid that I actually buy more than one of these because I can assure you that I will eat more than one in a sitting, whether I mean to or not.  I'm not even sure why I like them but I have to admit that I look forward when they arrive and I am slightly saddened & happy when they go.

Then they came out with ones for Halloween. Dang nabbit!!!

Pain of the Past & the Future

With my third grade students, we have been reading about Martin Luther King Jr and the protests that took place in the South, including Bloody Sunday.  After our reading, I encouraged them to write who, what, where, when, why, and how questions about what they read.  Some of their questions were pretty typical, such as "Who killed MLK?" and "Why did they use tear gas?".  However, some of their questions caught me off guard "Why did they hate black people?"  "Why didn't they want people to mix?"

I have to admit that to hear those questions struck a cord within my soul.  How could I explain the hatred that lives, and still lives, within the hearts of others?  Was it my place to go into detail of why some people felt an automatic disdain for people who were not Caucasian?

I did my best to explain why people felt hatred towards others of a different race.  The hardest part was explaining that during the civil rights movement, they wouldn't be able to be friends with their classmates of color.  The look of disbelief on their faces could break even the hardest of hearts.  They honestly did not understand how  people could dislike someone simply because they had a different skin tone.

Another hard part was that I had to bite my tongue before my brain started spilling out that it is possible that this type of hatred is coming back into the spotlight.  It was difficult to not say that people are being hated this very day simply because people that practice a certain spiritual path are being singled out and being punished simply because of the bad choices of a few people.

I can only hope that I never have to explain why people are being singled out, abused, and made to feel like they are second class citizens simply because of their religion.

It's All About ME!!!

There comes one day for everyone where others celebrate.  It is a time of gifts, cake, and all around party silliness.  That's right, I am talking about a person's birthday.

To me, a birthday is your own personal holiday.  You should be able to do whatever you want because it it your day.  Eat the whole birthday cake by yourself?  Sure, why not.  Dance naked in your front yard? Okay but make sure you have bail money.

Me personally, all I ask is to not work on that day, to sleep in, and to enjoy Chinese food for lunch.  A simple day but it makes me happy.  I can focus on me on the day of my birth and not feel bad about it.  And why should you feel bad?  There is 365 days in a year (366 if you are on a leap year) and on most days, we dedicate ourselves to others.  It is not too much to ask to have a day to yourself at least once a year and it is not selfish.  Don't let others try to convince you otherwise.

So, have fun and celebrate the day you were born.  The world became more awesome the day you joined it.

Smooches!