What Would Santa Do?

I realize that it is still October but many stores are putting out or have already put out their holiday decorations.  Soon, there will be tons of normally nice people transforming into sadistic, discount demanding, spawns of evil.  They will argue with associates over every little thing, picking at imaginary flaws in the merchandise and trying to get an item that normally costs $10 down to $5 just because they feel that they have the right to be a tightwad and that the associate they are dealing with is just a drone with absolutely no feelings what so ever & only exists just to serve the customer.

Well, I am here to point out a few things that you, as a holiday shopper, can do to make your shopping experience easier & a lot more pleasant and not be the person that an associate wishes, as my good friend Melodie Ramone said, that "Santa shits under your tree".  And I am including my brothers and sisters in the food industry as well.

Rule #1: Be prepared
Nothing is worse than dealing with a customer who has no idea what they are looking for.  My best friend Marie used to work at a bookstore and she actually had to say "There are 5,000 blue books. I have no idea which one you are looking for".  Don't just give a random description of what you are looking for.  Do what you were told in school: do your homework.  Most people have cellphones these days.  Take a picture of what you are looking for or text yourself a description or sku of the item.  Retail associates are dealing with a lot of people during the holiday season and nothing drives them nuts more than a very vague description that could be applied to over half the items in the store.

Rule #2: Read the fine print
The holidays is a big time for coupons.  I am a lover of a good coupon but, unlike many of the customers that come into the store I work, I actually read the fine print.  Make sure that the coupon that you are holding will actually work on what you are purchasing.  It is rather frustrating dealing with a screaming customer who insists that the coupon "should work" and having to explain that it doesn't because of what it says in the fine print.  You will save yourself a lot of pain and aggravation if you just take a few extra seconds out of your shopping day and READ THE FINE PRINT!

Rule #3:  Don't wait till the last minute
Oh holy mother, this one has to be one of the top of the frustrating list.  If you actually think that one of the hottest items will actually still be available three days before Christmas, you must be smoking something really strong.  Stores are sent a limited number of items and their online store warehouses only have so much storage room.  You have 2 choices: one, stop being a cheapskate and actually buy the item when the stores have plenty but may not be on sale or two, wait until the item goes on sale right before the holiday and risk it not being in stock.  It is your choice.  And that leads us right to the next rule.

Rule #4: Stock is limited
Stores have a finite amount of space.  They can only hold so much.  Do not ask if there is more in the "back room", as if there is a pocket in the space/time continuum that holds extras of everything that you could possibly want.  It does not happen.  If an associate says that it is the last one, over 99% of the time, they aren't lying.  they don't have it.  They have checked their inventory.  If there was some at another store or online, they will probably tell you.  If they don't, POLITELY ask about the possibility.

Rule #5: Be aware of your surroundings
Stores will have many more people in them than other times of the year.  If you are one of those people who insist on carrying a purse that could double as a piece of luggage, it would be better for you to switch to a smaller bag so you don't take out associates, merchandise, or your fellow customers.  This particular rule also includes making sure you know where the line starts and who is already waiting to check out.  Don't just set your stuff on the counter where there is a sign that says "register closed" and expect service.  Read the signs people and you won't have your fellow customers slashing your car tires because you decided that you were better than everyone else.

Rule #6: Patience is a virtue
This is a big one folks.  The holiday season is a busy one for everyone: shoppers and retailers alike.  Lines are going to be longer, stuff may sell out quicker, and people's tempers are definitely shorter.  It is supposed to be the season where you are to show love and kindness to your fellow human beings.  If something is sold out, if they don't have what you want, if your coupon doesn't work (see rule 2), don't turn into a demon and verbally abuse the people trying to help you or your fellow customers.  Remember, they are just people who have feelings that can be hurt by individuals who feel that it is okay to flay people bloody with their evil tongues.  Take a deep breath and put yourself into the other person's shoes before you go off one them.

There will probably be a part 2 to this post as the holidays get closer.  Just don't be a douche this holiday season and remember to show kindness to your fellow man.


P.S. Please feel free to let me know of any rules that you think I should include in the comments.  :-)

(Photo from https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Santa-Naughty-List.jpg)